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Fred Burkle
26 October 2006 @ 11:11 pm
Fred could see lights in the distance, glowing against the dark sky and washing out the stars that she had grown used to seeing the last few nights during their journey. They were almost like stars in their own right, providing direction for them, helping them reach their destination.

She glanced over at Angel for a moment, wanting to ask how long he thought it would be before they got into the city before deciding not to and turning to look back out the window. Even though she loved Angel more than anything in the world, part of her was still somewhat unsettled by what he had done. He had done it for her, because he loved her, but still...

She could feel it in the background, the demon inside her - like an ever present voice, a second personality, just waiting to be freed and do all the dark things it wanted to do. When she had woken up after being shot by one of those zombie cops, thinking that she had have died, only to find herself confused and overwhelmed by a hunger she had never felt before, she wanted to hate Angel even as he apologized and tried to explain why he had done it. He had been holding her in his arms on the ground as she bled to death, so soon after they had realized how much they loved each other, and he had turned her to save her. So he wouldn't lose her.

Her handsome man who had come to Pylea to save her from the monsters thanks to Doyle's vision...had turned her into one. He had called Willow to come down and put her soul back in her before she woke up for the first time, so she had never known what was like to have the demon free, speaking with her mouth, acting with her body, but still, she could feel it, poking her, whispering to her. Sometimes, she wondered how Angel was ever able to sleep because that seemed to be when it became the loudest.

She had wanted to hate him and had locked herself away, even as part of her wanted to go to him - he was her Sire, and that connection as well as the love she still felt for him was strong. Stronger than the hate. Finally, she had come out, seeking out the man she loved, her Sire, and she had broken down on him, crying and beating on him.

After which, they had started putting their li--they had begun rebuilding what they had together. It was much more intense, the Sire-Childe bond adding to the bond they already had as lovers.

But even as they found their way back together, things weren't the same with the others. Cordy, Doyle, Gunn, they all looked at Angel differently, wondering what else he might do if he would turn the woman he claimed to love. And as for her, she could see they saw her as different. It started to wear on them, so when Gwen had showed up at the Hyperion with news that there were some very strange things happening New York - things that were out of the ordinary even for the demonic underworld that thrived there - they had decided that it would be good for the two of them to go alone.

So now there they were, driving into New York City. It was beautiful, so different from Los Angeles. There was a...feeling about it that she had never gotten while she had been living in California.

Looking over at Angel again, she reached over and touched his shoulder briefly. "Where are we going to start?" she asked softly. "The area where Gwen said she had been staying while she was here?"
 
 
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
 
 
Fred Burkle
24 September 2006 @ 08:02 pm
Before six years ago, demons were something that me and Jimmy and Corey and Stevie always suspected were real but could never prove, even though we spent hours pouring over Jimmy's conspiracy magazines in his basement. Of course, Stevie thought it was stupid that we had any interest in demons and wanted to focus on aliens. He was the one that had me convinced I was going to be abducted by aliens and probed. Of course, he convinced me while I was high and not exactly able to think straight.

I know. I know. We were the four smartest kids in school, it was summer vacation, and we were unbelievably bored. I guess we could have found better ways to occupy our time, but given where we lived, that was what we did.

Then Stevie was killed in a car accident when he drove after getting high on his own one night, and I never touched the stuff again. His parents said he was coming over to see me. I wanted to get out of San Antonio after that, so I decided to definitely take the scholarship offer to UCLA.

Anyway, back to the demons I always thought were real but weren't sure about... Well, I found out for sure when opened that book while I was shelving in the Los Angeles public library one night. Kinda hard to ignore the reality when you have a green, horned one standing over you, calling you a cow and putting a strange collar around your neck. I don't really like remembering what happened to me after that and what it was like , only that it was scary and smelly and painful and awful, and I had to escape, even it meant dying in the process because there was no way I was going to let them use me as a breeder like they did the other girls.

I managed to disable my collar and escape, then I set to work trying to get home. I tried that equation so many times and nothing happen until one day when I was walking down to the stream to clean up because the water in my cave had dried up due to no rain. I was repeating the words over and over out loud - partly to keep them in my mind since I had started forgetting things and partly to keep myself company with my own voice - and suddenly, I felt that pulling sensation, and there I was, in Wesley and Rupert's bookshop. I was so scared, but they were so nice, and even though my parents wanted me to go home with them, I stayed in Sunnydale, even when they decided to go home to England.

I had just gotten around to re-enrolling in college at Sunnydale University a year after Willow had resurrected Buffy when strange things started happening in the town. Something called the First was planning on taking back power. In some ways, it was even worse than what had happened with Glory because it visited us as people who had died, and it came to me as Stevie. I was so glad when Rupert and Wesley came back...with Rupert's cousin Matty in tow. Well, his name is actually Matthew, but I call him Matty. No one else does. Sometimes I wonder if he's just being nice about letting me call him that because we like each other so much.

For a while there, I wasn't sure that we were all going to get out of Sunnydale alive, and some of us didn't. But most of us did, and now we're in England. Wesley and Rupert have asked me to be one of their assistants while they rebuild the Watchers Council. How could I say no?

I really should wrap this up since I need to go see Matty at the hospital. He's supposed to be getting out soon, and when he does, I hope the others realize that Amanda's death wasn't his fault. He's so sweet, and I loved working with him when we were helping Rupert and Wesley research. He's absolutely wonderful. Cute too.

I don't ever regret what's started between me and Matty, but I do hate that it might have hurt Xander. He's a great guy, he really is, but...I just never felt that way about him. I know the right girl's out there for him, though. He'll find her.

I definitely have to go now so I can get to the hospital because I don't want to get stuck in rush-hour traffic on the Underground - it's a mad house down there!
 
 
Current Mood: geekygeeky
 
 
Fred Burkle
19 June 2006 @ 09:20 pm
Angels will run to defend me...Collapse )
 
 
Current Mood: confusedconfused
 
 
Fred Burkle
03 April 2006 @ 10:47 pm
Fred knew that she had to be blushing again after Giles had paid her one the nicest compliments she had ever heard. Most people didn't care that she was smart, and she hadn't ever received really many compliments about her looks. Charles had, of course, but he had sort of thrown it over his shoulder that one time. The way Giles said it was...different and nice and made her feel warm inside and out, especially when he touched her face at the same time.

"The...uh...the menu would be would probably be good," she managed to say even though she felt a bit disappointed when Giles moved away to get it. She liked how his hand felt against her cheek. Shaking her head, she turned to look back out through the window and leaned her forehead against the glass while watching the streets down below. Geez, Fred, you're acting like a schoolgirl with a crush. You just met the man.

He thought she was beautiful, though, and he hadn't run screaming from the room when she had babbled and said she thought he was attractive. He had touched her cheek. The feelings were obviously mutual, even if they had to be careful about things, considering that she was here for a job interview. Of course, that didn't mean that they still couldn't have a nice dinner and get to know each other. Who knew what might happen if things went well and she got the job.

Smiling, she lifted her head from the window when he came back and took the menu from him to look over. Some of the items on the menu sounded a bit strange, like steak and kidney pie, but there was so much else available that she almost couldn't decide.

"Ummm...I'm not much for really fancy meals, so the grilled chicken sounds good. Comes from growing up on a farm, I think," she told him.
 
 
Fred Burkle
31 March 2006 @ 11:52 pm
"Fred, sweetheart, are you sure you don't want to come back here and help us? You won't believe the lab they have here. Knowing you and your big brain, you'd be able to help out so much with some of the things we've been dealing with already. Better than the guy currently handling things, that's for sure."

"I made my decision, Lorne," she told her friend softly as she sat on the back porch of her parents' home, waving to her father as he drove the tractor out of the barn and headed to the nearby field. "I can't—my place isn't there anymore. Everything's changed."

Everything had changed – ever since Wesley had died at the hands of Holtz's psychotic follower Justine. How they had managed to get through the year that followed, Fred still didn't know. So many times, she had thought that they had reached the end of their luck, first with Holtz, then with the Beast, then with Jasmine, but still somehow, they had managed to extend their luck and stop them.

However, when it had all been over, and Lilah had showed up to offer them Wolfram and Hart in exchange for what they had done, and Fred had wanted to turn to Wesley to ask him what he thought, she had realized that she just couldn't stay there any longer, not when the others were actually considering going to work with the firm that had made their lives such a living hell for so long, that had helped the people and demon responsible for Wesley's death.

"I know," he finally answered after a few moments of silence from his end of the phone call. "I was just hoping... I miss my Freddles, you know."

Looking up at the sky for a moment, Fred bit her lip, not wanting to cry. "I miss you too, Lorne, and I want us to stay in touch, but I just...can't be there with you guys."

"If you ever change your mind, you know there's a place for you with us, right?"

"I know."

"But you won't change your mind."

"No."

There was another pause on his end, and Fred found herself wanting to hug him, to let him know that it was all right even though she had made her decision. "What are you going to do now?"

"I...I'm not completely sure. I've been thinking about going back to school here and finishing my doctorate in Physics. We'll see."

"Well, whatever you decide, it'll be there right thing. I love you, Fred. You take care of yourself, okay. Call me if you ever want to talk. If you miss the old times."

"I will, and I love you too, Lorne. Bye."

Punching the end button on her cell phone, Fred then let her hand fall into her lap as she stared out toward where her father was working for a minutes. Her mother was back from her morning bus run; she could hear her moving around in the kitchen. Neither of them had asked her yet why she had come home when she had been so adamant about staying before, and so far, she had been grateful for that. She wanted to tell them what had happened, but sometimes, she still wasn't even sure of everything that had happened. She needed some time to work it through in her own mind before she could tell them.

Suddenly, the phone in her hand started ringing again, startling her.

"Lorne," she muttered while she raised the phone to look at the display. It wasn't his number, though. Whoever was calling, she didn't recognize it. She almost decided to let voice mail pick up the call but then changed her mind and pressed the answer button. "Hello, this is Fred Burkle."
 
 
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
 
 
 
Fred Burkle
09 October 2005 @ 08:08 pm
At first, I didn't know what had happened. One moment, I was being knocked to the ground, hot and stinky breath causing me to gag as cold water soaked into my clothing and Wesley's stake shooter was partially torn from my arm. The next moment, the weight on me was gone, an unearthly scream so loud and ugly that I shuddered piercing my ears.

Soon, I was blinded by the golden light than became brighter and brighter. As I covered my eyes, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around me, holding on tightly, warm and protective and familiar, and for a moment, I thought I was dead. I was dead, and maybe I was finally with him.

When the light died away, however, I found myself still in the alleyway behind the Hyperion. Rain was still coming down in sheets, but the arms were still around me. Turning my head, I saw him there - his face mere inches from mine, his blue eyes staring at me intensely. It was him.

"Wesley?" I whispered, my voice catching, my fingers reaching up to touch his face, as I realized that this had to be the Wesley who had helped us - me and Willow and Giles - with the spell. The one from the other reality.

But he wasn't supposed to be here. The rift was closed, the realities separated back into their own. Why was he still there?

"What happened?"
 
 
Current Mood: shockedshocked
 
 
Fred Burkle
27 March 2005 @ 03:36 am
Even though we've been walking without speaking for several minutes, the warmth of Wesley's hand holding mine is comforting, something that seems tangible after all the craziness we've been through in the last day...week...month...year. Years, even. At least there's something a bit normal in my life again.

Wesley's always been the one I've known I could turn to, no matter how dark and ugly and crazy things got. Charles was right about that. I just had to finally realize on my own that he's the one I've wanted and get over my fear of stepping out of the safe little box I had been trying to keep around myself since returning from Pylea. Guess it's taken working at Wolfram and Hart to understand that as long as I'm in this life, a safe little box is never going to happen. And actually, being with Wesley has made me feel more secure and certain about things than I have been in a long time. I guess because I've finally come to terms with everything I'd been ignoring for so long.

Looking up at Wesley as we head through a small park, I finally break the silence we've fallen into. "Wes...are you...? Are you okay? I know this has been one insanely nutty night - I mean, it's not every day that you have a twin created from an sabotaged experiment because some psycho nutball I should have sacked months ago decided to go serial killer and then have to send him off to some unknown hell dimension before watching a heart-to-heart breakdown in a Dennys parking lot."

I stop and take a deep breath, shaking my head.

"Well, I think we know how I'm taking all this."

I really don't want to think of how close I came to becoming an unwilling host to some ancient demon king-god whatever. Really don't.
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Current Mood: pensivepensive
 
 
Fred Burkle
26 February 2005 @ 03:40 pm
At least everything is normal again around this place.

The fact that a vampire being back to his old—uh, self again after having been turned into a puppet is considered normal just speaks volumes, though, doesn’t it? Sometimes, I wonder what we’ve gotten ourselves into with taking over this firm. I mean, sure, most of my professors from UCLA would kill to have the kind of lab I’m currently working in and access to the information I do, and we have been able to put some of our resources to use for some good, but there are times where it seems like we might have made the wrong decision agreeing to this, like there’s something really bad rumbling where we can’t see it. Like when Charles comes back, all raring to go after acting really strangely – who knows what the Senior Partners really had done to him. I’d like to know, but I can’t exactly just open him up and study his brain, and he didn’t take too well to my request for a biopsy back a few months ago.

So, yeah, things are back to normal around here. For the time being anyway. Wesley’s running some checks on the existence of some kind of demon bug nest for Angel – apparently Spike heard something about it out on the street. Charles is wrapping up some legal stuff from our showdown with the Smile Time puppets with Lorne’s help. And I’m here, working on a little quantum mirror experiment. This isn’t anything like you see in those Science Fiction shows, doorways to other universes and stuff like that. I’m looking at the reflective properties of atoms, how to duplicate them, that sort of thing. Right now, I’m working on the set-up. Hopefully, I’ll be able to run a few studies later in the week.

Although not if Knox keeps dropping things.

He just nearly cracked one of the mirrors. I swear he’s been more clumsy than usual lately. Actually, I’ve never known him to be clumsy before. I hope this doesn’t have anything to do with me turning him down because that’s really somewhere I don’t want to go again. I realized the mistake – make that mistakes – I was making and fixed it. I should have listened to my heart a long time ago regarding Wes.

Not that now is the time to get into a psychological breakdown about me and my feelings for someone I recently realized I’ve loved for quite a while now. If I want that, I’ll go to the firm shrink though I’d probably be better off going to Lorne to talk about this sort of thing. With him, at least I’ll know that I’m getting the truth and that the information won’t possibly be going back to the Senior Partners. Anyway, suffice it to say, denial and avoidance are not good things, and Wesley looks really, really cute when he’s confused.

Plus I love the way he kisses. I think we spent the entire afternoon after the Smile Time incident making out on his sofa before falling asleep in each other's arms, exhausted from staying up the whole night before. That was so nice...

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Right. Experiment. Quantum mirrors.

...

Man, I’m so going to kill Knox if he keeps messing things up.
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Current Mood: busybusy